Its been weeks since my last post and I'm so glad I waited because of last week Tom is now cancer free! Meeting with the oncologist last week we heard the great news and just like that life could begin to go back to normal. Now Tom is thrown back into the same pool we are all in except of course he will have to be monitored and watched throughout the months and years to come. Next week Tom heads back to work and my life in New York can begin. Everyone keeps asking me if I love being back, if I have been able to connect with old friends, traveled with the kids to museums or enjoyed what New York has to offer. The truth is, I haven't done anything - my life has been on hold and for obvious reasons. Having Tom home and just getting adjusted has taken longer than any of us expected. Tom wondered if I was sad he was headed back to work on Monday and I said it was bittersweet. I loved having him around but we never had the relationship where we spent enormous amounts of time together so this was certainly a special little treat even under the circumstances but something both of us struggled with from time to time. Please don't keep the toilet seat up, please take off your shoes, please don't have every single television on even when you're not in the room!
The moment we met, we lived in separate cities and then when I moved to Boston we both had demanding jobs, Tom's during the week, mine on the weekends. We were ships passing through the night, we reminded each other there was still love by texting. We didn't call each other or bother to email - we texted when we had time and when we went on vacations we were reminded of why we were together. So for the first time in five years we have spent almost every single day together since December 23rd - so when he asks if I am sad he's going back to work, I say bittersweet. We were able to put our new apartment together and Tom was able to see Finley in her classes, dance in ballet and kick soccer balls. Tom was able to play and laugh and nap with Frankie. He was finally able to connect with his new baby girl after missing the first few months.
I tried not to take any of it for granted knowing it would end and I am happy he's going back to work so I can once again go back to the real normal I'm used to, even if it means calling him on the phone every single afternoon asking me the same nagging question - "when are you coming home?" I want life to be normal, well I want it to be MY normal. I have certainly enjoyed our time together and it has certainly helped ease my transition from Boston to NYC but at the end of the day this wasn't our normal and knowing he was home meant he wasn't 100% better. I am sure in the weeks to come I will be typing the exact opposite of this post and complaining about how Tom is never around and how I'm sick of playing the single parent but Tom is cancer free what's better than that?!
I think Tom is eager to get back, he has never longed to be the stay at home dad and I am not even sure he's ever thought of himself as the dad who coached his kids to the town championships. He loves to work and he's good at it! I will never forget when we first met he told me and with no apologies that he will never be or want to be the 9-5 guy. I know he loves being home and spending time with his "girls" but he misses his normal and I am sure all of this estrogen is really starting to get to him ;-)
Next week I will complain about the fat free part of my blog....something I just can't get into right now but has been the bane of my existence and Tom's. He is cancer free but he is also fat free and my kitchen has turned into 1998 again - bring on the Oleans....!
