Justin....oh Justin....

So I have to dedicate this one to my amazing cousin/brother Justin! Everyone is always so confused by his title because technically, and well I guess, by blood he's my 1st cousin but just like you had aunts and uncles that you later found out were just your parent's really close friends, my cousin is practically my brother. Since we were little we have been inseparable. We spent most of our childhood hanging around together every chance we got. Our first few years of life were easy. We both lived in the same town and our parents spent most weekends together. Once he moved away to Texas and then California our time was limited to Christmas break and a month or so in the summer time. If you knew me when I was little then you knew when my cousin came to visit, you shouldn't even bother trying to make plans with me. My time was only dedicated to Justin! We were two peas in a pod, we laughed the same, we looked the same, we did everything the same. Most of my best memories of my childhood are with my cousin. Now, I know some of you are wondering well what about Joel??? Well I have amazing memories with him too but he was 5.5years old than I was.....he was the "big" brother who hung out with us when he wanted. He didn't think spending an entire day filming our grandmother or harassing our uncle was all that fun. He was a teenager and hanging around 7 and 8 year olds can be rather boring. Through the years Justin and I always remained close and even when we were both off to college we always spent the holidays together.  When he decided to go to Columbia I was thrilled because the moment I graduated NU I moved to NYC and I was able to see his last two years of college played out in baseball games and theatre.  
Justin also has a knack for being there for me when I needed it the most. I remember him being a huge presence in my life the summer my mom decided to leave to sail with her boyfriend. It was a rough time for me given it was the first time my mom had left me and wasn't traveling with my dad. Thank God Justin was there and instead of thinking about how lonely our house was, I spent most of it at my uncles.  When I had just moved to NYC from college and didn't have a single friend in the city, I had Justin who always met us out for clubbing or came over on Sunday's to watch Soprano's. On 9/11 it was Justin who traveled to my apartment with Tia to spend the night so I wouldn't be alone.  When Fin was colicky and I was losing my mind because I couldn't understand why she wouldn't stop crying, who came to visit? Yeah you get my drift. And the list goes on and on but it was this last visit that truly made me come to this realization. Everyone (unless you haven't spoken to me in the last few months) knows I wasn't thrilled about the move to NYC - and so it is always the first few weeks which are the most difficult when getting adjusted. Guess who was here? Justin! He made the transition so much easier by just being here. 
Once you are a mom your values and opinions of people change - it becomes a lot more black and white. Love my child, then I love you. Come visit me and spend no time with my children, you suck. I am pretty straight forward. LOVE ME, LOVE MY CHILDREN. Justin not only spent every single moment with Finley (Frankie, of course, is a lot easier to ignore ;-) but spent the nights here so he was the first person she saw when she woke up.  I was able to ease into my new apartment, my new life, my new New York. 
Justin's love for life is contagious and his energy is boundless. He makes you never want to take yourself to seriously and is the only guy I know who can wear neon tank tops and still look good (yes a little gay) but good. When Justin leaves the room, you feel it. He left for Tokyo this past Friday and our entire family fell into a bit of depression. I know Finley keeps asking for him and every time I have to tell her he's gone back to Tokyo, I can't help but get a little choked up. Finley will probably keep asking for him until the last glow stick in her room has lost it's light. The glow sticks were a last night treat - a glow stick party where 100 glow sticks were dropped all over her room and we played club music and danced with the whole family! We love to talk about how crazy our family is...but it's Justin who brings out that crazy side in us. We love to be crazy because Justin wants us to be crazy and he when he leaves we dull down but he continues on. I only wish he lived closer....maybe one day. I could go on and on about my cousin/brother but I'll just leave it at this - you are missed my Jedi-Terminator. Till next visit....I love you! 

Back in NYC.....

Well here's the first of hopefully many of the blogs to document my time back in the big apple. I think I'm still in denial I'm back. Not that I'm totally miserable about it, I do see the silver lining in some of this. I'm close to my ny peeps who I have felt disconnected with since living in Boston - there's the great take out, the cheap mani's and of course the amazing nightlife. I'm not a museum person and have never claimed to be so those "perks" people love to talk about don't interest me (despite my mother's disapproval of this). The truth is, I loved Boston - at first, I hated it. Refused to say I lived there, never embraced the "nation" and certainly took every opportunity to rip the restaurants and nightlife apart. But four years and two kids made me realize I'm a NY girl living a wonderful Boston lifestyle and what the HELL was I complaining about? Maybe I just love to complain or maybe I just always knew in my heart of hearts that there will always be things about NYC I love and when I was in my "roaring" 20's there was no place else to be but now that I had embraced motherhood and all that goes along with it - the packed 6pm restaurant and quiet sidewalks were just fine with me. When I first moved to Boston all I heard was "it's an early to bed town" well all of sudden I was the one crawling into bed at 10pm on a Friday night and I was fine with it. I loved driving to Target, well pretty much driving anywhere and now I bet my car will be wondering where the hell I am as it enjoys it's very overpriced spot. There's so much to write on the subject of Boston vrs NYC and I am sure as I begin to blog tidbits will come out about my love and hate for both cities. But I'm back in NYC and I might as well turn that frown upside down, get out there and meet some new people. Since being here I can openly admit I haven't left my apartment very much. I am sure we can dive down deep into the psychosis of this but for now let's just say I have two kids with two very different schedules and a lot of unpacking, organizing and home "making" to do :) Let's just say that for now.